What’s a woman to do when she’s attractive, smart, funny and sexy? In New York City the answer is often, sadly, stay single. In a city brimming with striking and accomplished women, a girl needs more than just a firm ass, Ivy League diploma and large disposable income to attract a man. She needs a little something extra. For me that extra is a passion for epicurean pleasures. 

I’m convinced my most recent relationship was prolonged as much by my skills in the kitchen as my skills in the bedroom. Sure he loved my abundant breasts and affection for oral, but my relationship with Mark would’ve ended much earlier if not for my succulent baked pork chops and mussels steamed in white wine with a heaping side of fries, peppered with parsley and fresh roasted garlic. My home brewed hot chocolate with coconut rum (see recipe below) was the cement that held us together that long last winter. 

Now I find myself single again at 32, a writer with food fever, searching for the man of my dreams, and wondering if and how I can use my culinary inclinations to find him. It worked with Mark, but is the way to every man’s heart through his stomach? Maybe our forefathers married for a lifetime of sticky toffee pudding, but is cooking still a means of seduction in the 21st century? 

Maybe I can answer this question with my latest romantic prospect. With chestnut bed-head and delectable dimples, Charlie was a devilishly good-looking working actor. I noticed the spirited sparkle in his eyes over beer and nachos at an East Village pub. As I sipped my cold Magic Hat and scooped up the piping hot chili with a chip, I felt things heating up between us.

 A night of drunken debauchery was followed by a morning of sumptuous sex. As I stood naked in my kitchen that morning, I realized I had all the ingredients for my famous “morning after” gingerbread pancakes (see recipe below) save the buttermilk. Unruffled, I was certain the opportunity for pancake-wooing would present itself again soon – and it did. We made plans for the next Saturday night. 

All week I was a bundle of anticipation. I knew he would fall in love with me immediately upon tasting my pancakes, spiced with clove, nutmeg and cinnamon – all aphrodisiacs.  

I was luxuriating in the warm caress of the shower when the call came: Charlie was experiencing what he called “social fatigue” thanks to an arduous week of auditions and a late night with the boys. Was this the blow-off? Or was this legit? Could city life really break a man’s desire for a night of hot sex and hot breakfast the morning after? 

When I woke up Sunday morning, very much alone, I gazed longingly at the ingredients assembled on my kitchen counter and thought about making the pancakes for myself. Instead I made something any single city girl would enjoy – a reservation at a great brunch spot downtown for me and my three best friends. 

“Morning After” Gingerbread Pancakes recipe 

2 cups flour

1 teaspoon baking soda

½ teaspoon baking powder

½ teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

1 teaspoon ground ginger

½ teaspoon ground nutmeg

¼ teaspoon ground cloves

3 large eggs

¼ cup packed dark brown sugar

½ cup well-shaken buttermilk

½ cup water

¼ cup brewed coffee (not espresso)

¾ stick (or 6 tablespoons) unsalted butter, melted and cooked slightly

Vegetable oil 

Blend flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt and spices in a large bowl. In a separate large bowl, whisk together eggs and brown sugar until smooth. Add buttermilk, water and coffee to mixture. Blend until well combined. Add to the flour mixture and blend until smooth. Whisk in melted butter until combined. Heat dry griddle, brushed with vegetable oil, over moderate heat. Measure ¼ cup of mixture for each pancake. Cook, turning over once, for approximately 2 minutes, until light golden brown. 

Hot Chocolate with Coconut Rum 

1 cup milk

1 ½ tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder

1 ½ tablespoons sugar

¼ cup coconut flavored rum

Whipped cream

Ground nutmeg 

Combine milk, cocoa powder and sugar in a small saucepan. Warm over low heat until combined and smooth. Stir in rum. Let simmer until steaming and frothing, but not boiling.  Pour into mug.  Top with whipped cream and a dash of ground nutmeg.  Makes 1 serving.