Photo Linda Alstead

Because we all screw up while screwing-

10. Whipping out your Clorox Bleach Pen when a few drops of period blood get on your sheets.

9. Preceding any new or raunchy sex act with, “I picked this up on ‘Law and Order: SVU.’”

8. Saving towels or clothing that he came on for use as evidence in court.

7. Sleeping with Eddie Murphy and forgetting to take your birth control pill.

6. Commenting on her junk in the trunk or her butt’s cute, “orange peel look.”  

5. Asking “Is it in yet?”

4. Screaming, “Ow! You broke my cervix!” mid-coitus.

3.. “Accidentally” putting it in the back door instead of in the front gate.

2. Yelling, “Oh, Daddy!” or “Yes, Mommy!” on the cusp of climax

1. Asking your new lovah how much you owe him/her after a long, sweaty sex session.