By Kate Kolendo  Photo by Donavan

How could a man with such an appetite be so reserved when it came to sex?

After my first date with Jed, I couldn't deny that he was an excellent prospect - cute, sweet and hungry. I'd underestimated him when we first met through a friend last year and even after we bumped into each other at a neighborhood bar just last week. But he'd been an impressive date, wooing me with the mixed grill at The 21 Club, an after-dinner Muscat, and a soft kiss goodnight on the cheek. My interest piqued by the promise of food and romance, I made plans to see him again.

For our second date, I recommended one of my favorite restaurants: a quaint French bistro in Hell's Kitchen. There, Jed oohed over the pate de fois gras, aahed over the escargot, and practically creamed his shorts over the crème brulee. Had I found him? When Jed suggested one last cocktail at a nearby lounge, I licked my lips.

We quickly found the lounge's darkest nook. Sipping my Maker's Mark Manhattan, I anticipated the heat of Jed's mouth on mine, the caress of his hands on my breasts and his fingers making their way up my thighs. Let the canoodling begin! But Jed did nothing. Later, when he put me in a cab, he kissed my cheek and said, simply, "I think I'm falling for you."

Slipping into bed that night, I wondered why Jed hadn't made a move. Jed was a romantic, true, but did that automatically exclude being sexual? I mean, I'm all for romance, but I want the smack-down too! Since I liked everything else about Jed, I decided to give it another date.

The next Saturday night, I entered Jed's restaurant of choice, a candlelit trattoria in the West Village, ready to take our culinary courtship to the next level. Over dinner, I devoured my grilled octopus with relish, playfully nibbled on my sweetbread piccata, and licked my hazelnut gelato with lascivious intent, as Jed watched, enthralled. Tonight would be the night.

As we lingered over Lagavulin, that smoky, sweet scotch, in a cigar bar post-supper, I puffed eagerly on my stogie and speculated: How would his lips taste? Would he slowly slide the spaghetti straps from my shoulders or extract both my breasts from my dress with one swift tug? Would he be good at oral?

By the time we reached my building, I was frantic with desire. I was about to rip off my clothes and pounce on him right there in the street, when finally...Jed stepped toward me. His soft lips traced my neck from shoulder to earlobe. At last our tongues mingled, our bodies intertwined. Yet I felt nothing. No nipples tightening in my bra, no pussy moistening in my panties. But I felt such lust for him at the table! Why didn't I feel it in his arms?

I said my goodnight. Closing my apartment door, I wondered if I could overlook a lack of sexual connection. I liked Jed, really I did. Could I trade sex for romance, chemistry in the bedroom for compatibility at the table? Slipping out of my dress, I touched my flesh. I quivered, longing for more. I knew the answer. I sashayed, naked, into the kitchen for a midnight snack.

The Perfect Midnight Snack (After You've Determined to Stop Seeing Him)

Artichoke with Lemon and Garlic

It may seem an odd choice, but this artichoke dish is a healthy reminder that you made the right decision in continuing to seek sensual (and sexual) pleasure!

1 large artichoke

1 tablespoon extra virgin olive oil

2 cloves garlic, finely chopped

Fresh lemon juice

Black pepper, freshly ground

Course sea salt

Slice off end of artichoke stem. Submerge artichoke in a pot of cold water. Bring to a boil over high heat.

Boil for approximately 20 minutes. Stem should be cooked, but still firm (test with a small knife).

Drain artichoke and set aside in large bowl.

Heat olive oil in a small saucepan over low heat. Add garlic and sauté until a slight golden brown, no more than a minute or two. Drizzle over artichoke. Squeeze lemon juice over artichoke to taste. Sprinkle with pepper and salt to taste, turning artichoke to cover evenly.

If you're unfamiliar with whole artichokes, undress it leaf by leaf, extracting the delicious pulp inside each leaf with your teeth. When you reach the fuzzy middle, scoop out the fuzz and eat the heart.

Crack open a bottle of crisp, bubbly white wine, like a Vernacchia or Sauvignon Blanc, and enjoy your snack! I especially love the sensation of the juice and sauce drenching my fingers, and then licking the delicious mixture from each finger! Have a side of baguette and goat cheese to be decadent.