in response to laura’s eloquent rejection of the online world, i run to its defense.  i wouldn’t say it’s for everybody, as we all have different goals in life, but for me, it worked.  i enjoyed the process, i met the man of my dreams, and i couldn’t be happier.  i offer my favorite parts about cyberspace:

- it IS like shopping!  let’s say you need a new sweater.  you go to the store, you run around looking, you try stuff on, maybe some look good, some don’t, you go to another store down the street, maybe you eventually buy something, maybe you take it home and don’t like it anymore…  in the end, you may have a sweater, you may not.  but you definitely have sore feet.  but online: you scroll pages, you see something you like in your size, you send away for it.  if you don’t like it when it arrives, you just send it back.  it’s so easy! i find online dating the same way: if i met a guy for coffee and he bored me to tears i knew there would be another waiting for me when i got home.  or similarly, if i liked someone, but he didn’t like me, i didn’t spend days being depressed.  i just went back to the computer and found a new sweater.  i mean man.

- on line dating let me delegate.  by nature i’m a delegator.  i like collaborative jobs b/c i figure there’s always someone out there better than me at whatever i’m doing.  finding myself a man was no different.  sure, i signed up for 4 different sites and went out with lots of guys from each, but by far, the most successful was the site that sent me the matches.  i was so compatible with so many of those men.  how does a machine know these things?

- i never dated more men in my life.  online dating was SO good for my ego.  some weeks i went on 7 dates in 5 days.  (i am very goal oriented)

- it actually helped me be less emotional about rejection. i have what i call the “pizza” philosophy of rejection: some people like thin crust pizza, some people like thick.  nobody’s wrong, nobody’s right; that’s just the way it is.  because the men i was dating were also dating so many other women - and so many in different stages of relationships - i learned not to take anything personal.  seriously: one guy and i had this 2 hr long phone conversation after emailing for a few weeks.  we totally hit it off and i was SO excited to meet him. two days later i got an email from him telling me he was going exclusive w/another woman he met online.  was he fibbing to get out of the date?  i don’t know.  honestly, i didn’t really care.  because i could just go back to my machine and find me a warmer sweater.