In an effort to rekindle the spark my hubby and I shared during our pre-wedding dancing lessons, last Friday night we went to “Summerdance,” an outdoor even sponsored by the City of Chicago. At 6 they give free dance lessons, then from 7-10 there’s a live band. Huge dance floor, good music, my man in my arms - it was fun. But… some people next to us were so aware of their space - they kept kicking us, bumping into us, the guy would spin his partner into my back. What’s up with that? Distracted, I started looking around to see if others were having similar problems on the dance floor. When it struck me: the unusually high proportion of utterly unattractive people at this event. Not “you have to get to know him to think he’s cute” guys - just plain unattractive. I don’t mean to sound mean, but can anybody tell me what that’s about?

What made matters worse: some of these unattractive guys were actually dancing with their eyes Closed (hence the bruises on my shins from their partners kicking me). They knew lots of moves and were definitely tossing their ladies around, so on some level they appeared to be good dancers. But isn’t dancing - like sex - supposed to be about connecting with your partner and your environment? It occurred to me that these people were totally lost in themselves - masturbating on the dance floor.

And perhaps That’s what was making them unattractive. So here’s my request to all you people who like to dance in public: please don’t bump me in the back and please don’t leave sticky floors behind you when you’re finished.